ZMI Part 1 (Interview)

Zelerod Memorial Institute Historical Preservation Project

Professor Otep ambrov Meuziek interviews Yilli, Sectuib in Teiu, for the sealed archives. Spring, 13 AU.

Prof Otep: For this interview, Yilli, I thought I'd just ask some questions and let the topics flow. Perhaps we can identify some individual topics that can be put on the list for later interviews.

Sectuib Teiu: That sounds good, Otep.

Prof Otep: What made you start your direct transfer project?

Sectuib Teiu: We had hoped that after we reestablished the House, we could help the Simes from the western mountains who had been nonjuncts, but juncted when all those little Householdings were destroyed by Raiders and the Nivet Army and there were no channels for them.

Prof Otep: I didn't think any Householders survived those events.

Sectuib Teiu: A few were Householders, but a lot were Simes from the area who counted on the Householdings to help them out when times were hard. It wasn't like the rich east. A Sime couldn't afford to despise the Householders and call them perverts when they were all that could save you when you can't pay your taxes or you can't afford an extra kill to support a pregnancy or the winter supply of Pen Gens start dropping like flies with pneumonia or dysentery.

Prof Otep: It sounds more like the tales of Freedom Township than the usual relationship of Householdings and their neighbors. Or Keon and Laveen, once Risa Tigue became Sectuib.

Sectuib Teiu: There was a lot more cooperation than most people know about. Almost everyone involved is dead now. When the ambrov Mountain Bells took Klyd Farris's group to Ardo Pass, it wasn't the first time they'd helped out that town. That's one reason they had no trouble selling their horses there every year. Even if the wealthy called them perverts, the rest of the area knew that little remote Householdings like that saved them from attrition again and again. Most of those Houses had policies like Teiu's -- never turn down a request for channel's transfer. They were the healers and midwives for the area too. Almost everybody had their lives saved by channels at some time, or at least the life of someone they cared about. Some of them died helping to defend the Householdings against the Nivet Army. The main difference from the Raiders, really, was that the Nivet Army usually left the towns alone, aside from appropriating Pen stock for their own use, of course. And they didn't murder Simes and children, except when they attacked Householdings. Toward the end, a lot of those border units were under very little central control and were almost as much a plague as the Raiders they were there to fight.

Prof Otep: So a lot of Simes in those areas were what we'd call semijunct long before Unity.

Sectuib Teiu: Oh, there were nonjuncts, too. Especially in the last years, times were always hard. A lot of kids got First Transfer at the Householdings and went back home. They stayed off the tax rolls. They were reported, if at all, as 'died in changeover' or 'got sick and died'. Mortality was way up then anyhow, so who was going to study the records, such as they were, and notice a small statistical anomaly? Some of these people suicided rather than go junct, some of them suicided after a kill or two, but some stayed alive, often to raise their children or the children of dead friends and relatives. So we got the idea of training the Gen children to serve their parents or foster parents in transfer.

I should mention here, in case I forget otherwise, that the people in our program were not the mountain people we originally intended to work with, but semijuncts who were dying of guilt for the kills they had made before they understood what a kill truly was, and especially from the horror of the kills they had made afterwards at the kill camps. Every Sime I took into this program was disjunct in every way except for that terrible incurable hook into his selyn system.

Prof Otep: How did you go about training these young Gens to give transfer to their semijunct parents?

Sectuib Teiu: I wanted to be absolutely sure there were no kills, so I did it very carefully, and ramped the Gens' capacities up and did simulated transfers with them that were a lot more intense than anything they were going to get from a renSime, even a semijunct renSime. Most of them learned to serve transfer, and many could serve several transfers per month. In accordance with our agreement with the Tecton, no Gen in my Householding ever served transfer without first being qualified at least TN-3. As a First myself, I am fully authorized to qualify a Donor at any level, but I didn't want there to be any question about the validity of the qualifications, so for the first ones, and most of the rest, I arranged for them to be conventionally qualified by personal transfer with channels at the Sime Centers in Konawa.

You know, it's really hard to teach a Gen how to give a convincing and satisfying junct-mode transfer. Very few Gens can learn it, and they really have to teach themselves. They had enough imagination, or whatever it takes, to convincingly project fear and resistance and the agony of nerve burn and that awful fading away in death. I don't know how they did it without ever experiencing it or being able to zlin it, but they never took any physical harm from it. It used to make me sick to my stomach doing simulated transfers with them, but they kept a lot of Simes going for a long time. The Simes hated to need those killmode transfers, but by taking them a few times a year, they did very well. After all, they weren't kills, the Gens were people they knew and loved, who loved and respected them. The Gens stayed with them and helped them with their postreaction, so they could clearly zlin that the Gens were unharmed despite what it had felt like during the transfer, and that they were pleased and grateful to be able to help the Simes. The Simes were very ashamed, but we pointed out that when people are physically ill, they often require treatments that are painful, or humiliating, and this was no different. We tried to give them as much dignity as possible.

Prof Otep: You didn't provide killmode transfers every month, then.

Sectuib Teiu: No. I had only a few Gens who were able to give a true junct-satisfying transfer. The Simes wouldn't have wanted it anyway, and it didn't seem to be necessary or even beneficial. But every month they had transfer with someone whom they knew well. The children were grateful that their parents or foster parents had gone through such horror voluntarily to stay alive and raise them, and the love and respect came through with the selyn in the transfers that weren't simulated kills. The Simes trusted me to train their transfer partners so that they could never be harmed by anything the Sime could do. Sometimes we gave channel's transfer when someone was having problems that a channel could deal with best, but even in those cases, the channel was someone they knew and trusted. We had the incredible good fortune to have two Third Order channels change over among the children of the Simes we were helping, and they did a splendid job. They don't have the sensitivity or power of a high order channel, but Tapiu and I advised them on technical problems that were beyond their intrinsic capabilities. By the time they were fully trained, we had learned a lot and it was much easier to know what to do to help each semijunct.

I've tried to personally serve transfer or accept the donation or simulated transfer of each of my members as often as I could. At first, this was difficult because in accordance with my agreement with the Tecton, I was often out of the District, and even when I was working in Konawa the scheduling couldn't always be worked out, but I did my best. When I could get time at the tree nursery site, we would make a communal and festive occasion of some of the transfers I served. I'd usually come out there with my secondary system pretty much drained, since we were exporting selyn, and I'd take some donations first and use the selyn to give the transfers. Everyone knows that a dynopter is a dynopter, the source doesn't matter, but for the members to see and zlin the selyn that was donated to me by the Gen members given in transfer to the Sime members gave everyone a particularly warm and close feeling, especially if I was also accepting the pledges of newly established or changed over members. When possible, the semijunct members also participated in these sessions, which helped everybody feel that they were full members of the House. This was one of the occasions in which they received channel's transfer that wasn't directly therapeutic. In the presence of their naztehrhai, I served them the same nonjunct transfers of the best quality I could manage that I served to nonjunct renSimes in my House, and within Tecton guidelines to Simes at Sime Centers. On a few occasions I was able to take the first donation of a newly established child and use the selyn to serve the new Gen's pact parent. Then I would accept the Gen's pledge.

The ambient the members created during such events was indescribably beautiful. None of my members had had exposure to any Householding philosophy or lifestyle before joining us, other than my sister of course, so ceremonies and group occasions like this helped people understand what it meant to be a Householder, and began a tradition for future members of the House to love and carry on.

You've asked for anecdotes as well as narrative in these interviews, Otep. I can certainly understand how some future historian who may be reading this in hopes of understanding our times might learn things from anecdotes that are invisible to us because they are so common, but as our way of life rapidly changes, may be incomprehensible unless seen in context. Let's start the list with pact families, which are a new and surely ephemeral phenomenon for in-T culture. My House could not have grown so quickly from people who were not Householders and retained any cohesiveness had it not developed essentially by coalescing pact families. I'd like to use Nalko's family as an example of how this worked out.

Prof Otep: Okay, Yilli, I've put pact families and Nalko on the list.

How do you compare your success with that of the Tecton with the general population?

Sectuib Teiu: Statistically, our people lived only slightly longer, on average, than the semijuncts in the general population, but the people we were working with wouldn't have lasted much longer outside the program. The Tecton's methods worked best for the really unrepentant juncts, who would have eagerly gone back to a monthly kill if they possibly could have. I don't regard those Simes as semijuncts. They were juncts forced to subsist mainly on channel's transfer. The people who died early under Tecton policy were the ones who deserved most to live. They were disjunct in every way except physically. They gave up and refused to go to the kill camp, or they tried and died aborting off a Pen Gen, or they suicided either directly or by neglecting themselves to death. They mostly died of heart failure or attrition after transfer or kill aborts.

My sister and First Companion Roza and I worked at several kill camps in the early years, and I zlinned altogether too many kills. There was no way anyone could miss the difference between a kill by a smug healthy Sime who regarded it as a delightful treat and one by a sick and heart-sick Sime who was only doing it because his body was forcing him beyond endurance or he had to stay alive to save someone else, usually his children.

I desperately wanted to help such people. We told them to try to have hope and hang on, that we planned to reestablish Teiu as soon as we could and we would do everything to help them live a worthwhile life without killing, but it took too long and so many died before we could do anything for them. I especially regret that none of the former Householders survived until we could help them. I never met any of them but people who had told me stories. There were survivors of the destroyed Householdings, and when they tried to find living Houses, if they were junct, they were turned away.

One story still brings tears to my eyes. A Sime woman brought eight Householding children that she had saved from the Gendealers into Capital. She had been forced to kill a Pen Gen to keep herself alive so she could rescue those children. She begged the Tecton for help, as the only adult survivor of her House. They told her they would take the children but a junct would never be allowed inside the gates of a Householding. She gave her Householding cape to the oldest child, her Householding ring to one of the younger ones, perhaps her own child, and said "Remember our House. Remember me." She left the children and walked back out towards the mountains. I've often wished I could have saved that woman to pledge to my House. I wonder what happened to the children, and how they remember her and how she was treated.

Prof Otep: How did you select candidates for your program?

Sectuib Teiu: They came to us when they found out about what we were doing. In the first years after Unity, Roza and I were moved around a lot, and we met a lot of Tecton employees. We told some of them what we hoped to do. The agreement we made with the Tecton that formally recognized Teiu as a member included sending me to Rialite to recover my health, and guaranteeing me an increasing fraction of each year to work with my House. It also said that I would not be required to work more than a specified travel distance away from my House. When I came back from Rialite, we managed to buy the buildings and part of the land of a former Genfarm near Konawa. I hated to reestablish our House on a Genfarm, but it was all we could manage to purchase in the area, and the government sold it to us on good terms. I was working for the Tecton in Konawa, and we spread the word that we were ready to start.

I recruited some people from the clinic for end-stage semijuncts I was working at in the Konawa West Sime Center. Other Simes came to me there, as well, and later I took in some members from among the local people who came to the Sime Center at our Householding. I interviewed them and examined them physically and nagerically. Many of them were in terrible shape -- they were barely hanging on to life. If only I could have helped them before their bodies had deteriorated so far they would have lived much longer.

Most of them were only forcing themselves to stay alive because of their commitment to their natural or pact families. They didn't ask me to save them, just to help them stay alive long enough to raise their children. I asked them if they would be willing to take oath never to kill again, whatever the consequences, and every one of them was absolutely sincere. They brought their children and foster children and I interviewed them as well. Sometimes it was the children who brought the parents. They could see these people who had kept them alive by personal sacrifices dying by inches and begged me to save them. Most of these young people were in good shape. Some had the skills to fix up the buildings at the old Genfarm and could teach the others. I sent them out with instructions to remove everything that would remind people that it had been an institution for the purpose of bringing human beings into the world to be killed for profit.

At that time I wasn't sure how the program was going to work out, so I was unwilling to take permanent pledges from the young adults. I thought many would want to leave after their parents died. Instead, I asked them to pledge for a limited time, so that they could leave without having to break or dissolve oath. This worked out very well. In a way, they were like the children of a House, members, yet not permanently pledged. Almost all of them stayed, contributed their skills to rebuild the House, and pledged to Teiu permanently through me.

That's another topic, Otep. I've had a lot of hassle from the Tecton about the fact that in my House we have several forms of oath, and not all of them are binding for a lifetime, as if that makes them less valid. How many idealistic young people in the traditional Householdings have sworn their undying loyalty to a House and its Virtue and its Sectuib, and had the Sectuib swear undying loyalty to them, then six months later the member finds himself at the gate of another Householding, expected to again swear undying loyalty to a different House, Virtue and Sectuib because the two Houses have decided to do a swap of personnel to exchange genes and skills, like a couple of horse traders exchanging breeding stock? So put oaths and pledges on the list.

Prof Otep: Okay, it goes on the list. Would you like some more trin?

Sectuib Teiu: Yes, thanks.

Prof Otep: When did you move out to the farm?

Sectuib Teiu: As soon as the Tecton released me for a period to work with my House I went out there. That was spring of 6 AU. The young people I had sent out in advance had done a great job, and the place was quite livable. Some of the buildings were those you'd find on any successful farm, a big farmhouse, stables, sheds for farm equipment, and so forth. They'd concentrated on fixing these up and the place looked really good. There were also some buildings that had been housing for employees and we put a priority on making them livable again. The Pens themselves were not as well built and had deteriorated badly. They had torn down the obviously unsalvagable buildings and used the materials for repairs and other construction. The District Controller had given us some Nivet Army tents and other surplus from the army and the old government Pens, so once the weather warmed up we were able to bring the pact families out from Konawa even before most of the buildings were ready.

There was one building set well off from the rest in a grove of trees which had been a group of killrooms in which wealthy juncts could enjoy a Choice Kill and postreaction at leisure. The rooms were very well insulated, and the building well constructed, although much deteriorated. The once-luxurious wood paneling was warped and weathered beyond salvage, but the stone walls underneath were sound. We fixed this one up to be the local Sime Center, which was then still at the former Pens in the village.

Here's another topic for you, Otep. How taking over responsibility for the local Sime Center had so many positive repercussions, not only enabling us to make a go of it financially, but letting us perform much of our selyn worker labor tithe to the Tecton on-site, and to weave us into the local community by letting its members see first hand what we were trying to do.

At our request the District Controller sent us a retired Householder, an elderly renSime, to help us set up our books. It isn't trivial to set up accounting procedures in such a way as to make it absolutely clear that nothing incorrect is happening when you're running a Householding and a Sime Center with the same facilities and personnel, but this elderly gentleman was a brilliant accountant and had set up bookkeeping for Sime Centers at Householdings across Nivet after Unity.

He was able to teach our members to do accounting for other parts of the Householding too. He was fascinated to see our House being born, or reborn, and invited friends with a wide variety of skills and expertise to visit, observe and teach us. He used to joke that what brought them in was that Teiu was the only place in Nivet where a renSime could have a couple of Companions following him around day and night and easing his arthritis. He's still alive but badly disabled by stroke and unable to travel. Whenever any of our members travels near his Householding we drop by to visit him. We all started calling him Uncle Radek, and he was able to show us what a renSime who had spent his whole life in a well-established House was like, and that helped us build our common culture.

Well, I better get back on track before I interpolate that whole topic!

Prof Otep: Okay, Yilli, the on-site Sime Center is on the list.

Sectuib Teiu: Back to what I found when I first went out to the farm. One really wonderful piece of luck was that in addition to people who could do carpentry, and so forth, we not only had people who could garden, we had people who had a talent for it. Not just a technical talent, but an aesthetic talent. They'd gotten a great vegetable garden going, and had discovered the remains of ornamental plantings around the house and in their spare time had started to restore and propagate from them. I actually didn't recognize the place. Instead of a decrepit farmstead with production buildings oozing an atmosphere of remembered horror, here was a nice stone farmhouse, housing for workers, outbuildings with facilities for horses and farm equipment, a neat and productive vegetable garden, and the beginnings of grounds that would have graced a wealthy estate.

It may seem irrelevant to go on like this, but it turned out to be one of the best things that happened in the program. We started a plant and tree nursery in order to have an economic activity that the physically ill semijuncts could participate in. We had to find something that we already had skills for in-House. We didn't have much capital so it had to be something we could do with what we already had, and we didn't have much land so it couldn't be a conventional crop. Reclamation of the ruined lands of south Nivet was getting going and we had a market for this specialty crop.

What we found was that working with living things, especially with trees that are so much longer lived than any human being and will be there to provide beauty and life to generations unborn, and the opportunity to participate in the restoration of the web of life to the lands destroyed by greed and the demand for kills, had a remarkable effect on the Simes in the program. It helped them back into the stream of life themselves. Their lives had been shortened, but trees live longer than anyone. They had killed, but they were helping to heal the effects of the Kill in the world. It helped them feel that they were redeeming their lives -- they could contribute to the future in ways that would last. Their physical health improved as their morale improved. They wanted to live and continue to do this work for the future they would never see, to heal the effects of the past. At that point the nursery was the main economic activity of the House, and it was good for these Simes to know that they were contributing productive work to rebuild the House that had almost been destroyed in the same turmoil that had almost destroyed their own lives.

Prof Otep: How did the children and young adults adapt to a Householding way of life?

Sectuib Teiu: Because of my commitment to spend a substantial portion of the year working for the Tecton I had to be an 'absentee Sectuib' in most matters. The character of the young people who first came to us for very different reasons enabled them to take up, manage and develop economic activities both internal and external with minimal supervision and direction from me. The relief of seeing their parents improve and the prospect of economic security won by their own cooperative efforts released remarkable creativity and ingenuity, even in the children. Most of them had been living in abject poverty in Konawa, as the pact parents deteriorated and were unable to work. From starving, ignorant and desperate children, they became healthy and self-confident adults, eager to learn and contribute to the House that had rescued them, the House they were rebuilding with their own minds and hands from the ruins of the past.

The young adults found it very reassuring that the farm was doing well and they could stay with and help their parents and pact siblings without worrying about finding work elsewhere. Outside the Householdings there had been very little cooperative economic activity in Nivet, and the young people readily saw the benefits of it once they were involved. So from people strongly committed to their pact oaths, they became true Householders in their minds and hearts, extending their loyalty from their pact families, an institution based on that most altruistic of social forms, the biological family, to the House as a whole. Without their earlier experience of social and economic cooperation in their pact families it might not have been possible for them to adapt to the communalism of Householding life, after the heartless individualism and competitiveness of junct culture.

Prof Otep: Tell me more about how you selected and trained the Gen transfer partners.

Sectuib Teiu: I started while I was still working full time in Konawa. I picked Gens who were already GN-1, could display selyur nager, and were eager to learn to serve transfer. Several had been offered training with the Tecton, but had refused in order to stay with their parents. I required a legal commitment from them since I intended to work with their selyn systems in ways prohibited outside the Tecton and the Householdings. So they pledged to Teiu through me and I pledged to them and I had some full members besides myself, my sister and my Second Channel Tapiu. I immediately began developing their capacity by standard and nonstandard methods. My objective was to qualify them TN-3 as soon as possible. I wanted to give them a capacity that no renSime could drain. I wanted to train them out of any fear of selyn movement.

This was nowhere near as difficult as I anticipated. As soon as possible I began simulated transfers. Once the 'mystique of transfer' was dispelled, I started doing what I could to see how far I could go with them, increasing draw speed, draw depth, evoking slilbliss, trying to evoke fear, resistance, pain, etc. Of course I had no intention of actually harming them, and never pushed them into actual pain or injury. I kept on until they could effortlessly and instantly drop their barriers at the first touch of draw. I would even suddenly grab them in apparent killmode and try to strip them as a renSime might. I knew that a burn or other injury from a killmode attack might so seriously demoralize everyone at the beginning that it might destroy the program entirely. I wanted to be as sure as possible that if one of the Simes were driven to attack, the result would be greater confidence that the Gens could prevent any harm to themselves. As I've mentioned, one of the things that torments a true semijunct most is the fear that he can't trust himself not to lose control and kill. I wanted these Simes to feel as safe as possible among the Gens who were trying to help them.

I arranged with the Sime Centers in Konawa to do the qualifying transfers, so they could evaluate the results of my training methods, as well as to make it absolutely clear that the qualifications were independently validated. The first TN-3s they qualified for me had been in real training for less than three months. We set up the scheduling, I took them to the Sime Center with me, the Controller deep zlinned them, filled out a card and handed it to them and within a few hours they were TN-3s. The Gens were amazed -- I hadn't warned them, the first they knew they were up for serving a channel in transfer was when they were handed the card. They had absolutely no trouble -- they were surprised that that was all there was to it, and the channels wanted to know when they could get them again. I told the Gens they would never meet a renSime with the draw speed or capacity of a QN-3, and away we went.

According to the terms of my agreement with the Tecton, at this point I was authorized to assign these Gens as transfer partners for the semijuncts in the program. Had the Simes not been so sick and traumatized, I could have gone right ahead. It was very important that the first direct transfers be successful -- had Simes died in them, the effect on morale could have been terrible. I wanted to use my own field to manipulate the ambient to make the transfer safer for these debilitated Simes, but at the same time, as you will hear in Nalko's story, the Simes had had such terrible experiences with channels facilitating their kills at the kill camps, that interference of this sort was difficult to apply. I think that the reason I was able to do it was that by this point the Simes knew me well as a person, they knew my nageric touch well from the work I had done in trying to improve their health and in supplying them with transfers carefully tuned to their needs and limitations. They knew I respected them for their struggle to avoid the Kill, and their commitment to their pact families. They trusted me deeply. We loved each other.

To prepare them to accept direct Gen transfer, I tried several methods. In one, I had another channel do a simulated transfer with the Gen while I served transfer to the Sime, manipulating the fields to make it seem that direct transfer was taking place. In another, I would set up the transfer with the Gen in physical contact with the Sime, the Gen would establish selyur nager, gently help the Sime raise intil, and do everything except serve the actual transfer which I did myself, again trying to simulate direct transfer. The next month I would set things up similarly, but the Gen would carry through with the transfer.

You understand that I was not worried about the Gens -- every one of them was competent, confident and willing. It was the Simes who required help to overcome their horror that they might kill, which could cause fatal aborts. By giving them the safety of an 'almost direct' transfer in which they knew there was zero risk, followed by a very tightly controlled first direct transfer in which they could trust me to overcontrol them if necessary to prevent harm to the Gen, their fears were lessened to the point where most could eventually take joyful and easy direct transfer with no external manipulation. They could always request very close monitoring by a channel, and at first most of them did. The effect of those first direct transfers on the morale of everyone in the House was wonderful. They took place that spring at our site at the former Genfarm. I could zlin how an ambient of forced and fragile hope bloomed into a strong belief that things were really going to work out. The intense gratitude and love the members felt for me is still embarrassing to recall. I did my best to divert it from myself to the House.

Another benefit was in the increased respect and appreciation of the renSimes for their Gen naztehrhai, and in the self-respect of the Gens. All these people grew up in junct culture, in the early years post-Unity when attitudes were only beginning to change. To serve direct transfer, to heal and prolong the lives of the semijuncts, is a miracle only a Gen can perform. To know that he can serve transfer, that no renSime can kill him, gives a Gen the self confidence to know himself the equal of a Sime. Not only did this promote the development of a Householder relationship between the larities, but it was very beneficial for the children, many of whom still greatly feared establishment.

Prof Otep: Are your methods documented anywhere? I'd love to arrange an interview for you with a high-order channel so all this could be recorded in exact technical terminology.

Sectuib Teiu: I should emphasize that none of these methods require a top-notch channel to implement. It may have taken a First to develop them, but I am not a high First. I had the extraordinary good fortune to recruit my Second Channel, Tapiu, in Konawa during the winter before we moved out to the site. Tapiu is a midrange Second who changed over barely in time to have a chance at disjunction. He saw the suffering of the semijuncts and knew by how scant a margin he had escaped it himself. He abhorred the methods the Tecton was using as I did, but had no way of countering them except to volunteer for the clinic for end-stage semijuncts at the Sime Center in Konawa. He was eager to join me in my direct transfer program, and without him it would not have been possible because of my obligation to work part of the year for the Tecton away from my House. He competently managed the program in my absence almost as well as I could have myself. We arranged for him to be appointed Controller of our on-site Sime Center, so he was able to stay at the Householding almost all the time.

I think the real reason for the success we had was not the mystique of direct transfer, or any unusual technical expertise on our part. I believe the reason was that we worked with the whole person, not just the irretrievably juncted selyn system. These people were dying from stress, internal and external. We gave them a safe and healthy place to live. We provided for the health and safety of the children for whom they were responsible. We surrounded them with people who genuinely cared for and respected them and others whose experiences had been so similar to their own that they could relieve their hearts by talking about things of which they were agonizingly ashamed. We promised them that they would never kill again, and demonstrated over and over that they could trust that promise. We supported their damaged selyn systems with Gens whom they knew well, who were their friends first and their Donor-Therapists second. We gave them meaningful work to restore the world, with results to last far beyond the lives of us all.

Not one of these Simes would have lived another six months had we not taken them into the program. In the program, a few lived as long as five years.

I know not all of the semijuncts could have been helped this way, but an appalling burden of suffering could have been relieved had the Tecton been willing to set up programs like this, instead of just treating those suffering human beings as defective selyn systems that come in every month for servicing until they fail entirely and are discarded. The Simes would have lived longer, healthier, more productive lives, especially had the programs started early when their physical health was still adequate and their spirits had not been so badly damaged by their experiences at the kill camps after their psychological disjunctions. There would have been fewer kills and kill camps. The spirits of so many of the channels and Donors who worked at the kill camps would not have been ground down and crushed.

Prof Otep: How have you developed your Gen training methods in the years since the refounding of Teiu at the Konawa site?

Sectuib Teiu: I've developed them much further since then, and not in the direction of trying to teach serving junct-satisfying transfer! While I wish that skill could be lost forever in a few more years, there will always be unfortunate situations in which a nonjunct Sime is provoked to a kill when too old to disjunct. The Tecton seems to be uninterested in using direct Gen transfer which would enable these Simes to lead relatively normal lives as long as possible.

The current idea seems to be to establish Last Year Houses and condemn these people to a terrible death, when it's well known that most of them could be saved, at least for many years, with no additional kills. If the Tecton feels that these people can never be trusted again in society, they could keep them confined during need, but let them live otherwise normal lives on direct transfer. If it truly believes that anyone who ever kills even once when past disjunction age deserves to die in disjunction crisis no matter what the circumstances, it should have locked up the entire junct population of Nivet and let them die in the year after Unity.

While I've never killed anyone directly with my primary selyn system, I have used my secondary to cause kills. The Tecton sent me to the kill camps, and I went and worked there. I used my nager to raise intil in Simes and I used my hands to push a living human being into the arms of that Sime, sometimes repeatedly, to enable that Sime to kill the Gen. I did this many times, and those kills are as much my kills as if I had stripped and burned those Gens to death myself. It had no juncting effect on my body, but I take responsibility for those deaths and I regard myself as no better than any other Sime who has killed. Later, I didn't have to cause or zlin such deaths directly, but I signed documents sending Simes to the kill camps. Every document I signed represents another human being who went uncomprehendingly to an agonizing death. Millions of those documents have been signed by other channels. Many of those deaths were unnecessary. Had the Tecton been willing to use techniques developed in Gulf, or the techniques which I was only too late allowed to use with my reestablished House, things might have been different, at least for some people. The Tecton's methods selected the worst of junct Simes for a prolonged and healthy life, and condemned the best of them to a prolonged death more horrible than I can describe. Many of those Simes died in my arms aborting in transfer. I've zlinned far more than I can count who were just waiting for death to take them. They died because they hated the Kill and no one was there to save them from it.

I sometimes think about that woman I mentioned who was willing to junct herself to rescue eight children and bring them out of the mountains, and was told that the gates of every Householding were closed to her. I wish I could have invited her into my House. She killed once to save eight lives. I have lost count of how many I've helped to kill in the Tecton's name. I wonder how many kills can now be counted against the channels who refused to help her.

The Virtue of my House is Pragmatism, and I know that it wouldn't have been possible to say, "from now on, no more kills" and not create a worse situation, but surely things could have been managed better. For five hundred years the Householders who established the Tecton stayed behind their walls and regarded their neighbors with the same contempt with which their neighbors regarded them, yet in twenty years, one Sectuib disjuncted a substantial part of Gulf Territory. I believe that if Klyd Farris had not visited Gulf himself and had Risa Tigue at his right hand in Capital, the Tecton's purist all-or-nothing policies would have resulted in a tidal wave of desperate Simes turned Raider, sweeping across a ruined Nivet and over Gulf, inundating the adjacent Genlands until all were dead of attrition, Sime-kill or Gen firearms. The closeness of the timing that rescued us from an absolutely imminent Zelerod's Doom is almost enough to turn one into a theist.

The Tecton believes it can hide the existence of the kill camps from the out-T Gens forever. It's foolish to think that a secret known by everyone can remain a secret. I hope I don't live long enough to see that non-secret come out. I hope it doesn't set the clock back to the situation between the territories in the years before Unity.

The Tecton has done terrible things, and it has tried to do them in secret. It required me to take oath as channel to put my body between the Sime and the Kill, and I took that oath gladly. It then sent me out to put the Kill between my body and the Sime. Like a criminal who commits worse crimes one after the other, each to try to cover up the ones before, the Tecton has continued the Kill and refused to take responsibility for it. It has refused to use direct Gen transfer to reduce the number of kills because of the risk of direct Gen transfer to the Gen, when all evidence is that with proper training and supervision the risk is negligible compared to other causes of death, such as being thrown from a horse, a risk people take every day. The result is even more kills to cover up.

Now it has to suppress the people who disagree with its policies, because they may blow the whistle on its lies. So it distorts their opinions and tries to make people think they are monsters worse than the juncts who ran Nivet before Unity. This makes it even more difficult for indisputably valid uses of these techniques to be applied. It will shout down dissent and try for ever tighter and tighter control to try to silence its opposition. As Sectuib I should have full authority over selyn management matters within my House, yet I've had to negotiate and document and promise and compromise, and have my compliance questioned again and again by an organization that made me swear to stop the Kill and in the same act required me to promote the Kill in secret. No wonder they can't believe the word of anyone else.

I think I had better stop now, compose myself, have a cup of trin. Otep, I trust you when you say that these documents will be sealed in an archive until everyone involved is dead and it becomes safe for historians to study them without passion or politics. I think it is vitally important for the world of the future to know the world of the past from which it was born. I hope these records will be safely preserved. But I also fear that they will be destroyed to cover up the past, and the record of people who did terrible things to create a future in which terrible things need no longer be done. I also worry that despite your intentions and efforts, what I'm recording here will be used against me and my House, the people who tried to help me and the people I've tried to help.

Prof Otep: Let's hope it doesn't come to that, Yilli.

Sectuib Teiu: You asked if any of my methods have been documented. I tried to keep reasonably complete records as I went along, and required other people who worked with me to do so as well. All those records are at the House's tree nursery site west of Konawa. I asked both the semijuncts and the transfer partners to write up their experiences from their own point of view, and a few of them have done so. Mostly, the Simes were too sick and ashamed, and most were not really literate enough to express themselves in writing. I couldn't think of any way to have others help them record their stories without causing them more pain and humiliation. The Gens are mainly involved in the strong flow of present life, and it's not their time for introspection. Maybe when they are older and ready to look back on their lives they will be able to write about the people they saved and how they saved them.

What I've been doing with my techniques in the past six years is working with the Church of Unity to train their out-T missionaries. This has been the most rewarding program I've ever been involved in and if it turns out to be the culmination of my life's work I will be content. I can go on for some time about this project, so perhaps we should put it on the list, too.

Prof Otep: Does Teiu have a relationship with the Church of Unity?

Sectuib Teiu: Not you too, Otep! That wretched board of inquiry last fall was also very curious as to whether I might be up to something subversive by importing weird superstitious out-T notions into even a not very respectable House like Teiu!

The relationship, if you can call it that, is entirely based on using my skills and experience as well as some of the resources of my House to train people to go out and stop the Kill, and the murders, out-T. This is an important objective of the Church, and one that I strongly support. Some of them believe that their God is working through me although I don't believe in any God or supernatural entity. They don't see any requirement to change my mind about this, although I've had many interesting discussions with students and teachers at their seminary as well as with the students I train. The Unity Seminary has a remarkable library with a great deal of material on Gen and Ancient history and culture that I have never seen elsewhere in-T, and the faculty and students are interested in many aspects of the human experience.

If you or any of your colleagues in the social science and historical groups here at the ZMI plan to visit Konawa, let me know and I'll arrange for you to meet people at the seminary and have access to their library. I'm sure that if you were to write to the seminary and start a correspondence with people there they would be delighted to exchange information and opinions. They are mainly pragmatic open-minded people and I've gotten along with them very well despite my atheism.

As for the Householding, I've conducted much of the missionary training at the tree nursery site, and students and other members have enjoyed meeting each other. It's always pleasant to have visitors with new stories and ideas when you live in a rural area, and Sime and Gen both can do something remarkably beautiful in the ambient by praying. I wish someone would study that effect. It seems to have a beneficial influence on everyone exposed to it and might be useful as a therapeutic method or even just for its pleasurable and aesthetic aspects. It should be possible to achieve the effect without a requirement for belief in supernatural entities.

So far none of my members have joined the Church, but if they wish to do so, I have no objection. I doubt that Church membership would conflict in any way with their oaths to Teiu, but I'm sure something can be worked out if it does. The missionaries themselves as well as those in training are pledged members of the House already, although their oaths are of different form. It's the only way I could see to train them and support their activities legally in-T. I can zlin that all of them took oath with absolute sincerity, and that they continue to honor their oaths. I am honored to have such outstanding human beings as members of my House.

Oh, one more thing you might want to put on the list, since it also got the board upset and has been a source of unexpected as well as anticipated benefits in my House, is my policy of encouraging any Gen who wishes to to be trained and if possible qualified TN-3. Teiu is unique among the Householdings in that a majority of Gen members are Companions, and I'd like to talk about the implications.

Prof Otep: Okay, Yilli, that one goes on the list too.

Sectuib Teiu: Let's round up some hungry Gens with interesting ideas and go out for some food. If we can get them talking they'll stay hungry long enough for us to get a good meal too.

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